Tender paw prints..

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Phia and I before it was time for her to go

Tenderness
   warranted and understood
Wagging tails and ragged purrs
    A fondness to form
Changing all.

Staying for moments
   ending far too soon
Lives forever changed
     And sent ahead with love
Memories of joy undimmed.

Every moment
Every lick
  Every game
   Every purr
    Every thing
Each a blessing beyond measure.

…tears….
Fallen and yet to fall
   Sinking into fur warm and soft
A big tongue to wipe them away.
    Peace found in peace given.

The most loving act
   most painful still
the giving back a freedom
    to play without reserve
love forever carried.

Peace is found
  in giving peace
There is no more pain
   No more uncertainty
More than worthy of this kindness

Forever
  Changed
   Blessed
   And Loved.

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Pudders - just before she became an angel....

Rest in peace, my beloved Phia.
Rest in peace, my precious Pudders.

Come snuggle with me tonight and every night to come. I will miss your physical presence and grateful that your spirits will be with me always, all ways.

I love you both. You will always be mine.

*yesterday, May 5, 2013, Pudders passed from this world and is waiting for us on the rainbow bridge until it is our time. Dan (my husband dear) rescued her 19 years ago from a farmer who was ready to end her life. The life she gave us was beyond expectations…

Today, May 6, 2013 we released our 13 year old dog Ophelia Jane from her well worn body. We thought that we were losing her a full year ago. She rallied and healed. I know now- She stayed with us until she knew we were safe. The cancer had come back and stopped her digestive system from working properly. She was in far too much pain and discomfort. Although it was painful for us, her physical pain was more so we did the most loving thing we could. I held her head in my lap as she slipped away.  I am sad but grateful for every moment together.

with Love, Light and Blessings….
Suz
Namasté

Robin Red Breast

Wow…

I am blessed with an amazing partner and husband- I call him Papa Bear. He supports my artistic growth by providing materials and supplies.  Over the years he has bought me: a keyboard, Quilling tools and paper (a great supply), oil paints and brushes, and a gigantic box of origami paper- the fancy paper I could never bring myself to buy ($$). This was all while he was working as an Engineer.  Now that he has retired on disability, it has been harder for him to find the funds with a much smaller income. That and I have all the materials I need.

Papa Bear (PB) has been working hard all winter to make sure that there is always feed for the resident birds. Even when pain, snow, cold and ice made it difficult, he still pushed himself to buy feed and work on keeping our feathered friends happy.

Yesterday PB shared with me why he has committed himself to bring theircaretaker….
“I always support your art. And keeping the birds around is like buying a big box of origami paper…”

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Posing for me...

He’s right. It is.

with Love, Light and Blessings….
Suz
Namasté

Absence…

Absence…

Challenges,
    Overwhelmed,
Far beyond what I
       could have
         should have
             would have
Imagined.

But I breathe.
  A way to be found
I only know
    My next step.

It can be hard to
    speak out loud
but to stretch
    is part of my journey.

I have returned.

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Silent visitors...

with Love, Light and Blessings….
Suz
Namasté

Ode to our Dragon

A black bearded
     Dragon
Insides dry and
   Scaled
Until she is fed
   Grounds and water

A fire builds
In her belly
    Born of spark
A growl and hiss
    A gurgle and then

A gift is given
   An elixir dark and
brewing
     Our Dragon
Is a good Dragon.
  A keeper.
      For sure.

Suzanne Kriesant
©02/18/2013

with Love, Light and Blessings….
Suz
Namasté

Back to my craft….

When I started this blog, I envisioned a rich dialogue about creating. Manifesting new circumstances, creating art that does more than please the eyes…

Sorry- I got caught up in the emotions. I take that back.  I’m not sorry. I am grateful for you, my dear reader, and for your willingness to come along with me on this journey back to center.

So- 4 years ago, for my New Year’s resolution, I promised myself that I would create something every day. I admit, although I was creating a bit here and there- I wasn’t dedicating my practice. So here’s today’s creations…

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I came upstairs for a cigarette (i know, i know... ) Pudders didn't come out for suggles. I sketched her from memory. Kind of like petting...but with a pen...

I haven’t made time to sketch in a long time. Maybe I’ll set a time daily,  just for sketching. I’ll let you know how that goes…

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Kirkigami is like origami but after you fold, you carefully cut out the design.

Seeing that Valentine’s day is tomorrow- I was looking for things to make Dan. Several Christmases ago, Dan bought me so much cool paper…so blessed. This one is not colored (green, blue,  pink, yellow). Using my copy of a Kirkigami book, I cut these out. I can’t wait to see what I use these on/for…

For now-
My bed is calling. Night all.
Peace be with us all….

with Love, Light and Blessings….
Suz
Namasté

Candlelit Pudders

Candlelit Pudders

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She is as soft, in fur and temperament, as she looks

A darkened room
   gray punctuated with a ragged
           …purr…
….click….sputter…
  Source revealed and illumined

A small cat,
    Fur soft, down plentiful and seen
Sitting,  four paws in the space
   Of a postcard,  tail wrapped subject
       Worthy of a stamp.

Two decades past 
  The first of four
       (….of an infinite…)
Rescued from
  a limited life
In time and quality

The Heart was melted by
  This ragged softness
The purr experienced by
       All senses, numbered or not
-A Gracious Gift of Salvation

I am grateful to witness, record
    and receive.

My Gift to You, My Dear Ones
    ….purr….
©2013 2/11/13
Suzanne L Kriesant

with Love, Light and Blessings….
Suz
Namasté

Why I don’t vacuum

I’ve never claimed to have a “clean” living space.

A love filled space? Without question. Organized clutter? Yup. Everything looks better with fur? A fashion accessory.
But house cleaning is a different story.

Let me explain….no wait. Not enough time. Let me sum up…. (Anyone want a peanut?)*

Dan and I have MS (I’ve explained the general elements of it a bit already here . I think you’ll find I did a pretty decent job of distilling my 14 years of teaching other people about MS…)

Back to my furry, dusty, love filled “home” (and why it is like this)

Dan and I have lived together for about a decade (so far). We each have individually lived with “limited” energy (due to MS) for another 10 years on that… we have learned quite a bit. Thank God.

Metaphor time…

We’ll use a non human analog. You have a cell phone with an old battery. It takes longer to charge the thing and doesn’t hold a charge long.

You have a list of calls you need to make- a list far longer than your battery can possibly achieve. Doctors, bill collectors, your beloved friend, the vet, your mom…. which call would use that charge most effectively? Which calls are “mission critical”? What part of your life gets the energy?

I hate calling myself old- but in this case, I am very much like that old battery. At least my energy levels act like it.

So on my list- there are things I have to do ( find/visit doctors, feed/walk/care for the kids, obtain meds, obtain food, make coffee), things that feed my heart and soul (snuggle with our pack/pride, paint, create, write, take pictures, connect with Dear Ones, blog) and things that would be nice to accomplish (laundry, dishes, unpack boxes, organize, clean). There’s no way I could do it all. I am blessed to have Dan’s help, when he’s able, although level of help necessary can vary from day to day, hour to hour. His “battery” is quite sensitive to external circumstances- where in the month (in respect to his tsybri infusion) he may be, stress level, unforeseen events….

So I have to choose my energy expenditures carefully and remain flexible. Cleaning is at the far end of my list and is saved for days that have no other tasks that take priority.

Like today- weather’s crappy. No chance of heading down the driveway. And we promised Dave that we’d run a few loads of laundry and vacuum his main rug. Dan was going to do the vacuuming. I already did the laundry.

I am allergic to animal fur and dander. Vacuuming kicks it all up. Anti histamines knock me out. I have been known to shove tissues up my nose, just to slow the sneezing. Not pretty. Really.

Dan loves me and is happy when I’m happy. He thinks my sneezes are cute but prefers me awake. So he vacuums. Most of the time. But not today. Remember how I said the weather is crappy? Ice and water, bumpy and slick (AND wearing SLIPPERS!) All Together helped Dan test gravity. With his ass. (…it’s in the name…slip-pers…)

So I vacuumed with Dave’s ancient machine (sooo close to the end of its useable life) and noticed a straining of the motor (between sneezes).

It is a Dyson want-to-be with a canister collection bin. It looked a bit full. This is what I removed from said canister. Holding my breath.

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Witty is this color. Pudders' underfur is the same

It worked far better afterwards. Still not well. Ugh.

In the end- The upstairs main rug and the back stairs were vacuumed. I’ve taken benedryl. I’ll be asleep within 15 minutes.

So if you do come over- make sure to comment on how lovely my home is, how warm it feels and complement me on how clean the stairs look. I’d rather have a love filled home, bursting at the seams with beauty and joy than a clean and tidy one. Any day.

Time to inspect Dan for any bad bruising and rest. My batteries are spent for now. Time to plug back in.

With Love, Light and Blessings- Peace be with us all..

fuzz

*maybe we should spend the day watching The Princess Bride? Btw- the book was written by the same guy who wrote the screenplay. So if you love the movie- you will love the book. Like a MLT but with more mutton…

with Love, Light and Blessings….
Suz
Namasté