Tender paw prints..

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Phia and I before it was time for her to go

Tenderness
   warranted and understood
Wagging tails and ragged purrs
    A fondness to form
Changing all.

Staying for moments
   ending far too soon
Lives forever changed
     And sent ahead with love
Memories of joy undimmed.

Every moment
Every lick
  Every game
   Every purr
    Every thing
Each a blessing beyond measure.

…tears….
Fallen and yet to fall
   Sinking into fur warm and soft
A big tongue to wipe them away.
    Peace found in peace given.

The most loving act
   most painful still
the giving back a freedom
    to play without reserve
love forever carried.

Peace is found
  in giving peace
There is no more pain
   No more uncertainty
More than worthy of this kindness

Forever
  Changed
   Blessed
   And Loved.

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Pudders - just before she became an angel....

Rest in peace, my beloved Phia.
Rest in peace, my precious Pudders.

Come snuggle with me tonight and every night to come. I will miss your physical presence and grateful that your spirits will be with me always, all ways.

I love you both. You will always be mine.

*yesterday, May 5, 2013, Pudders passed from this world and is waiting for us on the rainbow bridge until it is our time. Dan (my husband dear) rescued her 19 years ago from a farmer who was ready to end her life. The life she gave us was beyond expectations…

Today, May 6, 2013 we released our 13 year old dog Ophelia Jane from her well worn body. We thought that we were losing her a full year ago. She rallied and healed. I know now- She stayed with us until she knew we were safe. The cancer had come back and stopped her digestive system from working properly. She was in far too much pain and discomfort. Although it was painful for us, her physical pain was more so we did the most loving thing we could. I held her head in my lap as she slipped away.  I am sad but grateful for every moment together.

with Love, Light and Blessings….
Suz
Namasté

The truth about Methadone and Pain Management…

OK… my level of frustration has reached a level where I must educate someone, somewhere, knowing that it may not make a difference in my life, but this may help another person suffering from chronic pain.

This is how I create a silver lining when all I can see are dark clouds.

Dan and I have MS. It manifests as extreme chronic pain. In order to maintain a manageable quality of life, we take pain medications.

There is one medication, used for decades for long lasting pain control. It has also been used to help addicts get off of heroin. For us, Methadone has been a life saver but it also has damned us to extreme discrimination.

Methadone works on specific receptors in the brain. These receptors are also subject to heroin.  Think of keys and locks.  The drug is the key, the brain cell is the lock.  Methadone, when used for drug abuse, blocks the cell’s lock so that heroin cannot act upon the brain. When used for pain control, it unlocks the nerve cell and suppresses the pain signals, thus reducing pain.

We each have been prescribed low dose methadone (for pain control) for over a decade. We have never, ever, even tried heroin. Why are we being treated like drug abusers?

Our current problem is finding a doctor out here in rural Illinois that is willing to prescribe methadone for pain control. Even the “pain management specialists” are scared of it. But here’s the fucker- we have less than 2 weeks of medication left. It would be quite dangerous if we just stop the medication. The withdrawal would stress our bodies- stress we cannot afford.
Dan has survived 3 pulmonary embolism since we got married  (a blessed miracle three times over) – it is this kind of stress that could generate another clot.

We have an appointment with one doc at the end of March. There is no way we can make it to then.

So everyone- please understand. Methadone is a well studied and widely used pain control medication. Don’t just assume that it’s for drug abuse. 

I just pray that we find a solution.
Thanks for listening….
Suz

with Love, Light and Blessings….
Suz
Namasté

Done and signed…

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She is done…
“Unnamed” watercolor on 140lb paper 12×18

And I am pleased. I’m quite happy how this ended up. I’m learning the rose.

Many years ago, an art teacher of mine (Sal) got frustrated with me because I wanted to do a painting of my wedding bouquet. It had a rose or two in it. It was the one (and only) time I let him use my brush. He painted a few strokes and it gave the impression of a rose.

I have improved greatly since then. I am grateful for the opportunities that I have been blessed with that has brought my craft to a whole new level….

I think I still have his email someplace…. maybe I should send this to Sal…

Peace be with us all…

with Love, Light and Blessings….
Suz
Namasté

She continues…

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The background is added and I made the darks darker ...

What a difference
    ….the color wheel doesn’t lie….
Opposites bring each other out
        Show so much more
Than seen before…

Faith strengthened
… instincts confirmed…
I am learning
        …the language of the Rose…

02/26/2013
Suzanne L Kriesant

Namasté,  my dear Reader…

with Love, Light and Blessings….
Suz
Namasté

Appear/disappear

Work continues
   Although more meditation
Than toil
      What is the color of Dark?
   What is the color of Light?
Questions asked
      Answer not immediate
But within the process…

    The answer is revealed
drop by drop,
    Pigment settles, dries,
          lighter than first appears

Part faith
  Part experience
Combined and entrusted
        my Beloved will
    understand the adoration
            enfolded within….

Peace be with us all….

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As of this moment, she continues to grow and change, stroke by stroke and I am grateful.

with Love, Light and Blessings….
Suz
Namasté

Candlelit Pudders

Candlelit Pudders

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She is as soft, in fur and temperament, as she looks

A darkened room
   gray punctuated with a ragged
           …purr…
….click….sputter…
  Source revealed and illumined

A small cat,
    Fur soft, down plentiful and seen
Sitting,  four paws in the space
   Of a postcard,  tail wrapped subject
       Worthy of a stamp.

Two decades past 
  The first of four
       (….of an infinite…)
Rescued from
  a limited life
In time and quality

The Heart was melted by
  This ragged softness
The purr experienced by
       All senses, numbered or not
-A Gracious Gift of Salvation

I am grateful to witness, record
    and receive.

My Gift to You, My Dear Ones
    ….purr….
©2013 2/11/13
Suzanne L Kriesant

with Love, Light and Blessings….
Suz
Namasté

Me (at peace)

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Me, present, accounted for...

New noticing
  New silver strands
     New paleness
        New Light
that has always been but unseen.

Uncovered by a winter cold
    And the loss over time
      a slowness radiating
          a peace that was unknown

Until now.
In the vanity
   Of picturing self
       I have found a present

Me
©2013 Suzanne Kriesant
2/05/13

with Love, Light and Blessings….
Suz
Namasté